How can I stop this....Guilt? This Depression?

Ive got myself in a mess, I cant think what to do. Any help would be appreciated.

About two months ago, I made a fake facebook account. Im a female the account was a male.

I started adding lots of people, quite a few from my school. One, was a gay guy a few years older than myself. I got talking to him, and to be perfectly honest, he is the nicest individual I have ever had the pleasure to talk to. But, even though he never knew it was me, (The fake account, seeing as I used random pictures of guys) I always panicked and grinned like a fool when I saw him in school, and found I never could say hello. It got so bad, that the first time he came to talk to me, I had to keep my back to him and walk stiffly away. I just couldnt handle it. I know he probably thinks I have a problem with gays or something. I Just....However hard I try, I cannot talk to him in real life. anyways, online, things were getting pretty serious. He started asking for my mobile, address. And of course I couldnt Give him those things. So, I had to end it. I can say, I am in love with him. I needed a way other than just de-activating the account, how to stop talking to him. So, at home I was pretty depressed, I decided suicide was the best thing. So, I told him (online, on the fake account) I was considering suicide. Then,....I just stopped going on it. This hurts, and I know I should feel as much pain as physically possible, but....I didnt mean to fall in love with him. I just didnt. It should never have got as far as it did. I know that now. Anyways, recently I havent been doing very well. Skulking around school avoiding him. Sever depression. Self-harm. I cant handle my emotions, so helf-harm is how I get rid of them. Anyways, My friend came up to me, and said she also has a fake account and had been talking to this same gay guy, she did exactly the same as me. She fell in love with him. But she simply deleted the account.

It bothers me. I dont know how I managed to fall in love with a gay guy. I feel so bad it literally is destroying my life. I found out not long ago, this guy has some problems. I.E, OCD, Bi-polarism, Split personality, and he's on Prozacs.

I miss talking to him, but cant go near him in school. My arms have to be totally hidden now, seeing as they are covered in scars healing cuts and brand new ones. Every day this gets worse and worse. Im feel like im being dragged down and down.

Does anyone have any ideas on what I should Do?

Thank you.

Oh, and Im 13.How can I stop this....Guilt? This Depression?
First off relax and breathe, you need to gain a little bit of perspective on the situation. You should just tell the guy through your fake account that you are not planning on killing yourself bc I don't think it's fair for you to put him through that. If you don't have the guts to do that then just deactivate the account and force yourself to move on. You need to stop dwelling and obsessing over this- stop letting this take over your life. You are 13 you made a mistake, you have feelings for the guy but they aren't as real as you think, bc on the one hand you are very young and secondly you had a relationship online which isn't the most authentic foundation for relationships. I think you miss talking to him and feel a connection to him bc he also has emotional problems like you. But I think you should avoid him in real life and online. You need to distract yourself from this and over time you'll move on. Hopefully you won't do anything so impulsive again but I suggest you find stuff to distract you from your sadness. There are a lot of things out there you can do to take your mind off of this, find a passion, hobby, or read. idk my point is you need to refocus your mental energy on other things.How can I stop this....Guilt? This Depression?
how can a female ffall in love with a homo?
Do as your friend did Delete.
i know how its like, especially as all the cute guys are gay :(

just delete his account, try getting over it, go out do something else with your friends, meet a decent guy.
well you have given him reason to believe that maybe you followed through with your threats of suicide - have you considered that given that you threatened it %26amp; now haven't bee back on to your fake account.



Face up to him - tell him you are alive, tell him who you really are, face the consequences of your actions %26amp; move on - that gets rid of the guilt at least.